


Only Now

by ladydirewolf1



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Near Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-10 00:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5562082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydirewolf1/pseuds/ladydirewolf1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes only terror brings us to say what's unspoken. </p><p>A short fic following the near-death shooting of John Watson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Now

                “John, they’re dead. We have to get out of here,” said Sherlock as he rounded the corner, his torn coat whipping lazily around his legs. “We have to—”

                _No._ His feet came to a stop.

“John,” he croaked out as his eyes fell upon the ground; a pool of crimson, a lifeless body, ragged breathing. A black-edged hole above the heart.

                _Not him. Not John._

                Sherlock was accustomed to seeing bodies and blood. But those were always criminals, the bad-guys, the ones that didn’t matter. Without thinking, Sherlock pulled out his phone and pushed three buttons. He fell to his knees. The creeping pool of blood soaked through his trousers, but Sherlock ignored it as he leaned over John’s chest. He yanked off a leather glove and pressed two fingers to his neck. _One-two…three…four._ The pulse beat helplessly against Sherlock’s fingers.

                “John,” Sherlock whispered, sliding up his hand to cup John’s face. “John,” he repeated. The skin beneath his touch burned and John’s eyes flickered beneath his lids. “I don’t know what to do.”

                “Sher…” The ghost of his name floated out from John’s lips. His eyelids flickered open, closed…then open once more.

                “Oh my god, John,” Sherlock breathed out. He smoothed his own hand, cool against the heat, over John’s pale cheek. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He felt a hand brush his soaked knee.

                “Don’t…don’t leave…me.”

                “I won’t, I won’t.” Sherlock reached down and took the hand, now sticky with blood, in his own. He squeezed the fingers. John squeezed back. “I won’t leave you.”

                John nodded softly, his eyes searching Sherlock’s face. They should have been wide with fear, but John’s were warm. Content. With a wheezing breath, John said: “Did you call…the police?”

                Sherlock laughed, and a hot tear slid down his cheek. “Of course I did.”

                “Good.” He inhaled sharply, tightening his grip on Sherlock’s fingers. “You never…call…the pol—” Suddenly, his chest curled inward, and John’s hand flew to his chest in a cry of pain.

                “John!” Sherlock bent forward, trying to steady him by the shoulder. “I don’t…I don’t know what to do.” Sherlock’s eyes swept madly over the train carriage, searching for something, anything. It was empty.

                A hiss of pain brought him back. Sherlock looked down—John’s eyes were shut, his teeth clenched, his chest rising, falling, falling, desperate for breaths that would not come.

                _Not, not yet. Not yet._ Sherlock cradled John’s head in his lap. His eyes took in every beautiful detail, every line and crease, every piece of John he had so long ago memorized but was now terrified to forget. He breathed in John’s scent, the scent that filled his lungs and hovered over his armchair back in Baker Street, back home. Sherlock shut his eyes, but still the heavy, burning tears spilled out, splashing onto the too red chest below.

                “I love you, John. Come back. “ Sherlock leaned over and pressed his lips to John’s own. “Come back to me.”

                The words drifted from one man’s lips to another’s, touching, remembering, in the way only words know how. They tasted of pain, of sorrow, but most importantly, of love. Of a love that had always been, but could only now be heard.

                “ _I love you. Come back_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and please check out my other johnlock fics!


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